The Writing Comeback (Week III)

It’s Not All About The Numbers

Ahh, the blog post you’ve all been waiting for.

Here goes – week three of my writing comeback. Not everything can be measured in numbers.

Not for me anyway. Pleasure should not be quantified, happiness isn’t counted. Not in our house.

There’s a great interview with Zac Smith on this week’s Other PPL Podcast where Zac and host Brad Listi talk about how the pleasure of writing comes in the writing! It sounds obvious but, again forgive my analogy, it is just like running – one step at a time, one word at a time – it clears my mind.

Thinking very much counts as writing

What about progress? Surely I’ve always measured my running – longest distances, fastest times, PBs – and I’m guilty as charges I’m afraid. But it is till mainly about the feeling.

This reboot of mine (read this if you fancy) is all about BEING a writer and just as soon as my foot is healed, it will be about BEING a runner too

Of course I’ll be using numbers to measure my progress! Hopefully writing my estimated 90,000 words of the first draft of the novel, tentatively titled Dogs That Don’t Look Like Their Owners (DTDLLTO) by the end of the year. But a good stint of writing will still be successful, if it FEELS successful, regardless of how many words I get down on the page.

SO, for your (and my) pleasure, here’s week three’s progress (and yes there are some numbers!)

Monday: I finalised and posted two, count ’em, TWO blog posts – Click here to read all about the two months since Nicky and myself became vegans or here to catch up with last week’s writing update.

Making people on paper, much like making them in your uterus, takes a long time, is physically and mentally exhausting, and makes you wee a lot. So brace yourself, we’re going in.

Writers HQ offering a reality check for the writer!

Tuesday: Busy McBusyface didn’t get chance to add words today.

Wednesday: On the timer, I managed 1100 words of the first draft of DTDLLTO. I also pre-ordered David Keenan’s latest offering today. It is a prequel to the extraordinary This Is Memorial Device (which I reviewed here).

Thursday: Busy trying to keep fit and then grandadding, so little time for words. The wonderful non-fiction journal, Hinterland dropped through the letter box today – I managed to read some of the excellent articles in there while little Charlie (the grandson, not the dog – I know it does make for some confusion having a pet and a 10 month old sharing a name) had a sleep.

Friday: Not feeling great. Ran out of time. Bit of noodling with Writers HQ working out how to join the virtual writers’ retreat.

Saturday: We had a bloomin lovely day out I’ll have you know. You can read about it just as soon as I’ve written the next blog post!

Sunday: Writers HQ Online Retreat. If you’re fancying doing a bit of writing and find yourself struggling for time (& money) have a rummage around their website. This was the first time I’ve done one of their writing retreats – which became online when that there pandemic arrived – and what a marvellous success it has been.

It just shows that prioritising writing, sitting at a desk which faces the wall, rather than having the laptop on my actual lap and sitting downstairs by a window, works a treat. For me, writing in chunks of time works so well. I did 5 sets of 30 mins of my novel today and wrote 2990 words of this first drafting. I’m just getting the story out and trying not to edit as I go!

Using my desk to lean on, you’ll be shocked to learn, is more productive than my lap!

A big chunk of wordsmithery time today paid dividends in more ways the number of words. I also started to get a richer understanding of the relationship between my two main characters, I found I could tap into a wider range of emotions, hopefully gradually changing between scenes. When I write in very small time windows, I find I force a feeling into a scene without the context of the scenes either side of it.

As the wonderful AL Kennedy says, once characters start developing through the act writing their lives, they will start to live in the writer’s head more. Thus revealing themselves in greater detail. I’m just letting these two show themselves to me as I go. They haven’t been created from nothing, in many ways they’ve been created from everything. And what a privilege it is to be their narrator.

A Certain Thought To Finish

Now here’s thing. A proper thing.

There’s a certain something about a certain writer. Or a certain podcaster. A certain friend, a certain relative or even a certain random character on Twitter. There is a certain something about these certain people which instantly inspires me to write. There certainly is.

You people know who you are 🙏

JEWS DON’T COUNT by David Baddiel

I really like David Baddiel. His television comedy work was my era. He made me laugh hard back in the day. As a social media user, his wit and comical observations shine through to this day. I was drawn to this book for other reasons though. As I try and read far and wide and learn more about ethnic minorities and their cultures, Baddiel’s voice is strong in guiding me. His extraordinary BBC documentary, Confronting Holocaust Denial left me reeling at the depths of antisemitism exposed.

Jews Don’t Count rummages amongst celebrities, politicians and us, the general public, exposing the hypocrisy in our current world of virtue signalling, identity politics and ‘gotcha’ social media campaigns. It might be true that minorities are thankfully championed and supported in the public domain far more than when I was a young man, yet, as David Baddiel shows, Jews are largely (and glaringly) omitted from the agenda of the anti-racists.

It is a tough and uncomfortable lesson which Baddiel delivers in this short but mightily powerful book. At around 150 pages, it still finds room to pin down every riposte from even the most ignorant and bigoted view points. I saw somewhere this book described as a ‘polemic’. I’m struggling with that as the author’s case building and arguments really do leave no room for doubt as to the experience of Jews.

Baddiel is a great writer and such a persuasive and informative voice. Not that I would want to, but I couldn’t find any counter narratives within my own understanding or beliefs to any of the many cases studies employed here. I would consider myself to be progressive and anti-racist, not to mention left-leaning when it comes to politics. Have I ever been guilty of the dismissive, lazy racism (in the form of antisemitism) which Baddiel points to here? I hope not. But, I’ll be making sure I take my better understanding into the future. I thank Jews Don’t Count for this.

The book is crisp and cutting as well as beautifully elegant in its delivery. Remarkably, Baddiel rarely drifts into raw anger, but is constantly firm and refreshingly open. We shouldn’t need reminding that the Nazi’s (and Communists) feared and hated Jews. Both spread the image of a monied and powerful group who aren’t to be trusted. The modern day left and progressives seem to use the perceived wealth and whiteness of Jews to justify excluding them from the anti-racist and anti-persecution agendas.

Baddiel (very much leaning to the left himself), shows time after time again how Jews are portrayed in political campaigns, literature, the press and in the rest of the media, as being the white, privileged and capitalist enemies of progression. Worse though, Jews are too often subjected to physical, verbal and emotional racist abuse. Racism is not acceptable, full stop, a stand we must all take.

I read this pacey and urgent text in a day and feel enriched by the experience. From football terrace chants to comedy, the racism experienced by Jews simply would not be accepted were other minorities to be similarly abused. I am left with a determination to speak up with more force and confidence and to be brave enough to challenge those of my peers who seem to have (and what a horrible and dismissive phrase this is) a ‘blind spot’ when it comes to antisemitism.

The arguments made in Jews Don’t Count aren’t just powerful, they are essential, but you really need to read this book to understand just how powerful. It is not for me, from my actual position of white, middle class privilege to make this case, but it is for me to urge you to read the book.

Coincidently, I read Jews Don’t Count directly after reading A Meal In Winter, a powerful, pocket sized novella which has The Holocaust and antisemitism at its heart. I recommend both.

Being Accountable #2 Feb 2021

I started the year making a series of pledges to myself. Not a New Year resolution, more of a map of where I’d like to be heading. I made my manifesto public, and now I’m holding myself to account. January went pretty well, let’s have a look at February’s progress.

More than ever, the last year has shown us we need to expect the unexpected. Well, the unexpected came with a rather debilitating stomach bug which meant I had a few days of not straying too far from the domestic personal facilities. Sadly, this coincided with some time off work and mine and Nicky’s birthdays. All better now and eating strongly again! It curtailed my running a bit but my reading and writing barely noticed the interruption.

Writing – Submissions

I’m going to submit a minimum of one piece of writing to a literary journal every single week during 2021.

On it!

A total of seven pieces of flash fiction, poetry and even my first ever non-fiction submission are all in the hands of various magazines or literary journals. It was lovely to hear one of my poems being read out by the mellow tones of Kristen, the editor-in-chief at Unpublishable Zine. I also entered a 500 word flash fiction piece into a weekly competition (and no, I didn’t win). Whether these get accepted (or indeed win) isn’t really the point, I’m challenging myself to invite critical comment and becoming more comfortable with knowing complete strangers are reading my words.

What about my novel?

My target is 2500 words a week of the first draft. This should comfortably complete the draft by the end of 2021

Lots of news. It is amazing where inspiration can be found. Where shall I start? Firstly I’ve re-joined the great Writers HQ. They promote themselves as a writers tool box for those of us short of time and money. Tick. They have a regular Couch To 5k month but for words rather than running. A daily email offers prompts, hopes, exercises and reassurance. They have a good old online forum (in the real world I guess this would be a reading group). This has definitely given me a boost. With my notebook and the typed pages on the laptop I’ve written around 12,000 words. Some have already been discarded, others have morphed into a separate story. Even if they all end up being rewritten, I feel good about where my writing is.

I’ve also found a new podcast, Unsound Methods. Two writers who write ‘literary fiction’ interview other authors (generally from the less commercial areas of writing) about their craft and methods. I found the podcast via the author David Keenan (more of him later).

And As For The Blog

I made quite a pledge for this:

I’m going to email at least one ‘trail running character’ every 14 days to see if they fancy being featured. I’m going to add new content to the blog. Every Single Week. I’m going to review at least one book a month.

So, my series about Trail Running Characters hhhhmmmmm, I’ve now got 7 outstanding invitations (plus one who declined the offer, “not for us mate”. So I think I’m going to drop that particular pledge and concentrate on my book blogs and anything else which piques my interest.

In February, I’ve managed to post 4 book reviews, including one of the afore mentioned David Keenan’s This Memorial Device. This book has contributed so much to my reading and writing. To describe it as quirky would be underselling it. Experimental? Maybe. Individual, definitely.

So in March I’ll be changing my blogging goals to a simpler “at least one post a week“.

The Journal (and other scribblings)

I shall write in my journal. Every. Single. Day. Just thoughts. Observations. Even a note to say nothing of noteNever dismiss a thought – it will end up being used somewhere.

This is going really well. I use my journal every single day. Just for very basic notes on how life is that day plus any thoughts, however small on ideas for my writing. This is particularly handy when I’m on a break at work (or even in between deliveries if I really don’t want to forget something.)

What About My Reading?

Well, seeing as you asked:

I’m going to buy one book a month from an independent publisher, by an author I haven’t read before. And I’m going to read a minimum of 6 books during 2021 which were published at least ten years ago.

Some independently produced poetry keeps me amused on a break

This is going along nicely. Check out my reading list for 2021 which is up to 14 books so far.

If you are looking for some short fiction, poetry or creative non fiction to read, you could do worse than try some of these online beauties: Dodging The Rain, Open Page and Moxy Magazine. If any of my work were to be accepted by one of them I be a proud bunny.

I had a lovely package from Galley Beggar Press arrive, a free short story and a couple of off-the-wall postcards accompanied the book I’d ordered. So, alongside some independently published poetry, this satisfies my pledge to buy from independent publishers.

As for older books, I read We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, whose originally publication was a hundred years ago! So that box is ticked too.

And Not Forgetting My Running Of Course

I’m still tackling The Goat 2 (run elevation gain equivalent to that of the SW Coast Path in Devon and Cornwall in 4 months). My elevation climbed in 2021 is up to 65,000ft, so there’s still about 45,000 feet to go, but I’m ahead of target. This is despite having nearly a week out with a rather disruptive stomach bug! You can see in my chart which week that is. All my running had been pretty local in line with current guidance. That hasn’t stopped me and Nicky continuing our adventures on the trails we’re lucky enough to have accessible to us.

Other Fitness And Health Pledges

BUT, I will pledge this: I will, every single day, do either some conditioning work, strength exercises, stretches or other body maintenance.

I can’t lie, I’ve slacked. The month started well and ended well but the lurgy I had took my mojo, which is only now coming back. I have got myself a really good all over conditioning and stretching routine which only takes about 30 minutes, so I’ll be back doing that three times a week in March. And I’ll be getting that plank duration extended. Oh yes I will…..

And Lastly, The Dreaded Food Pledge

So, I am going to not snack at work. I’m going to only snack during evenings after big (as in 2 hours plus) training days. Puddings will still be the law after roast dinners of course. 

February is ending on a Sunday, just like January did. So once again I say “At the time of writing, a rather delicious GU Zillionaire Cheesecake is settling on top of my roast dinner! So I’m keeping that up…..”

Still the law!

Actually, I’m not doing too bad with this. Having a bad stomach certainly helped curtail my urges to snack. There have been a few ‘comfort’ lapses, but on the whole I’m where I’d like to be with food. Without really trying to, I’ve also lost weight and to be honest, I probably needed to shed a pound or 10. The fact that this has been an almost accidental by product of trying to be healthier is great.

We step into March tomorrow, always a challenging month for me, with too many sad anniversaries and birthdays we no longer celebrate. I’m determined to create a positive vibe out of it all though.

Good things are coming………

ambition

For some inexplicable reason, I get Frankie Goes To Hollywood giving my inner ear a tick when I hear the word ‘ambition’. “Whaaaat is it good for…..?” Well…….

A cursory glance at a dictionary (or indeed, Dr Google) finds definitions such as “A strong desire to do or achieve something” and “Desire and determination to achieve success.” 

And dotted around this piece you’ll see a selection of quotes from friends and allies. I used that there social media to ask “what does ambition mean to you, in one sentence?” 

So, where am I with the word?

As is so often the case with my navel gazing, soul searching inner dialogue, it seems to go back to… duh duh duuuuuh… my childhood. It’s almost nauseating how corny that sounds, but that genuinely is where my thoughts arrive from. 

Yup.

A traditional upbringing I was offered. Stable home, stable schooling, stable this, stable that. Which is ironic considering my first memory of ‘running away’ was when my sister bailed out of the family home. She was protesting the fact that putting an actual horse on your letter to Santa was overly, er, ambitious.

We were encouraged to lock in ‘stability’ as an ambition. Do well at school (but university isn’t for ‘people like us’) then get a good steady, stable job. Maybe get a few steady promotions over the next 50 years. Meet a suitable, stable partner for life, a good stable wife/husband. Have 3 or 4 suitable and stable cars and/or children.

Sadly (or not, actually), I was more interested in hearing what John Peel had to offer me when I was a teenager, sampling local cider and mastering rolling a fag whilst cycling were the limits of my ambition.

There was always going to be a clash of cultures……..

But honestly, as an adult, what have my ambitions been?

I never thought I’d find true love for a start, so that was never an ambition. But what do you know, ta daaaaaa, here I am!

Without realising it, I think my main ambition was to never have a proper career. TICK.

But I have *always* wanted to be a writer, a musician, an artist, a poet. I suppose I formed my ambitions based on anything which has a genuine impact on me. Words and music, words and music. 

As it turned out, we can add love to the list.

Does this make my ambition “words, music and love”?

Sort of, but that’s not really the story here. Take love out of the equation – even though I wake up every single day and pinch myself that I get to share another day with the most wonderful human being I’ve ever met. No, love was never an ‘ambition’, it was more like winning the lottery with a ticket I hadn’t realised I’d bought. 

Music and words. Are they ‘ambitions’ though? Not really. I achieved things I never thought I would; played in a band, played my own songs in a band, heard other people sing my songs, I’ve written for magazines (and even started one back in the day), I’ve written for various fanzines (football and music), I had a piece published by Metal Hammer magazine once. 

And in more recent times there’s been so much happening with my writing that I’m extremely proud of. But what makes me really proud. I can’t measure this success, there’s no end game. I can’t see there being any “right, now I’ve achieved that, there’s nothing else to work towards” moments. Because I don’t set any goals. So maybe I don’t have ambition at all. As one popular running podcast puts it, I simply enjoy the process.

Ah yes, running. But what about running? Surely I’ve got running ambitions?

Well yes, for a while back there I was setting myself goals (ambitions?) to run a certain distance in a certain time or finish in a particular position in a race or beat this or that person. And when I achieved any of this, was I satisfied? Of course not, there’s always a different time to beat, a new distance to run, a new person to chase. 

There is a scene in the film Chariots Of Fire where Harold Abrahams has won his gold medal and sits, almost forlorn, in the locker room. When the team quiz each other, they conclude that “he’s won” was the best explanation. His whole ambition had been to win that medal. Having achieved it, the journey was over, finished. What would he do the next day?

Ambition is different for everyone. People are more ambitious or less ambitious. They might be ambitious in some areas of life but not in others. We’re all different and that’s what makes life so interesting. 

I decided to have some checklists for myself this year, so I guess that qualifies as ambitions? Simply a set of ways I’d like to live my life, something to hold myself to account with. Have a gander.

In the mean time, here’s to fair winds as we chase our dreams……..

Being Accountable #1 Jan 2021

I started the year making a series of pledges to myself. Not a New Year resolution, more of a map of where I’d like to be heading. I made my manifesto public, and now I’m holding myself to account.

January has been and gone, let’s see what targets I’ve kept to.

Writing – Submissions

I’m going to submit a minimum of one piece of writing to a literary journal every single week during 2021.

Technically I’ve fallen short, but I have submitted a total of 5 pieces during January, so my average is still good. Amazingly, I’ve had one poem accepted already by Unpublishable Zine and they are going to feature a reading of it on an upcoming podcast. I’ve got another poem and a piece of creative non-fiction which I’m building up the courage to submit, so February is already looking strong.

What about my novel?

My target is 2500 words a week of the first draft. This should comfortably complete the draft by the end of 2021

I’m behind with this, I can’t lie. Although I have put plenty of work into the plot and the characters. My previously written chapters have been scrapped as I’ve decided to change the narrator. I’ve written about 7000 words of the re workings of those chapters and have the basis of the plot and timeline coming together nicely.

My running buddy, my inspiration, my first reader and my complete world.
(The lady in yellow is pretty special too!)

I’ve also had a meeting with my first reader, editorial advisor, plot hole filler who just happens to be my rather gorgeous wife. I say meeting, she patiently listened to me reeling off my ideas for the direction of the book on one of our long dog walks. This was such a valuable exercise and the change of narrator came from this brain storming session.

So no, I haven’t written 2,500 words a week, but I have moved the project on dramatically. I’m actually using some of the free resources from the excellent Writers HQ to help me with the plot and characters. I’ve also got a great book, The Creative Writing Course Book, which I picked up the last time we went in an actual bookshop, nearly a year ago.

And As For The Blog

I made quite a pledge for this:

I’m going to email at least one ‘trail running character’ every 14 days to see if they fancy being featured. I’m going to add new content to the blog. Every Single Week. I’m going to review at least one book a month.

So, my series about Trail Running Characters was always going to be a long term project. I have 3 people who I’ve emailed who are up for being involved and will reply as and when time allows. I’ve also had somebody decline the invitation!

I’ve written two Book Reviews and published them during January in a total of 5 new posts. These included a personal piece about how much Nicky and I love a book or ten.

The Journal (and other scribblings)

I shall write in my journal. Every. Single. Day. Just thoughts. Observations. Even a note to say nothing of noteNever dismiss a thought – it will end up being used somewhere.

Yup. All over this. I keep a complete record of my writing, reading, submitting progress every day. As I do with my running and anything else I feel is noteworthy. This is already paying off – a major ‘scene’ in the book came from taking the time to write some detail down before I forgot it. I have quite a few ideas while driving the van, I do wonder what customers think I’m scribbling when I’m sat outside their houses. Without the journal, I’m absolutely sure these thoughts would have been lost to an unreliable memory.

In Other News

I’ve upped the game with my Instagram presence. Why? Well, through the medium of Twitter, I become friends with a guy who has just published his debut novel. He invited me to be part of the ‘blog tour’ which will accompany the launch of the paper back version of Let In The Light. So I have been the lucky reciprocate of an advance copy of the book. I’m so pleased because I couldn’t put it down, it really is excellent. As I sit here typing, Nicky is opposite me already half way through the book herself. I can’t wait to write a full review.

I would really like to get involved with more book reviewing, and not just in the ad-hoc manner I currently am.

What About My Reading?

Funny you should ask. Remember, I pledged this:

I’m going to buy one book a month from an independent publisher, by an author I haven’t read before. And I’m going to read a minimum of 6 books during 2021 which were published at least ten years ago.

Not only that, I said I would read at least one poem a day. I’m keeping a record of the poems I read in my journal, I’ve got a couple of great anthologies I select from. I’ve also bought some sublime literary journals and am reading poems (as well as short fiction and creative non-fiction) from those too. Check out Hinterland and Under The Radar yourself.

The are also some great online journals which are mostly free to read. I’ve been enjoying Orange Blush and Book Of Matches amongst others.

I’d be a proud man if my work could feature alongside some of the the great writing on offer in any of the above oublications.

I’ve got a book from Galley Beggar Press on the way and I read W.S. Maugham’s A Painted Veil which is getting on for 100 years old! So I’m doing ok with my reading.

And Not Forgetting My Running Of Course

I do like a bit of mud to run on!

I pledged not to follow a training program but to keep myself as fit as possible whilst not becoming depleted and leaving myself weak if Covid were to strike. I’m tackling two challenges from Bys Vyken (read my piece on the Cornish event organisers here.) namely Lamps On Lockdown (run 50 miles in the hours of darkness over a 4 week period) and The Goat 2 (run elevation gain equivalent to that of the SW Coast Path in Devon and Cornwall in 4 months). I’m nearing the end of my headtorch running and about a third of my way through the hills! These have both kept me focussed and running regularly.

Consistent running to start the year.

Other Fitness And Health Pledges

BUT, I will pledge this: I will, every single day, do either some conditioning work, strength exercises, stretches or other body maintenance.

This is also happening! Nicky and I have a strength routine which we put together ourselves. It can be done indoors and takes 25 minutes or so. We’re both doing this 3 or 4 times a week. On the other days I just do my plank – I got up to 1 min 30 secs quite quickly but haven’t shown any signs that I could better that.

And Lastly, The Dreaded Food Pledge

So, I am going to not snack at work. I’m going to only snack during evenings after big (as in 2 hours plus) training days. Puddings will still be the law after roast dinners of course. 

At the time of writing, a rather delicious GU Zillionaire Cheesecake is settling on top of my roast dinner! So I’m keeping that up…..

Still the law!

Joking aside, this is going rather well. Combined with my consistent running and general fitness (not to mention being relentlessly busy at work). There’s the occasional lapse in the evening, but I’m really pleased to be a bit lighter than the blob I became over Christmas. I even had to get the drill out to put a new hole in my belt!

All in all, despite *everything* I reckon I’ve stayed pretty focussed on the positives in January. We’ve stayed safe and tried to enjoy every spare moment with each other and our music, fitness, writing and books.

Let’s see what February can offers us……

A Promised Land

A Promised Land by Barack Obama

Eager and daunted in equal measures, I greedily gathered a couple of copies of A Promised Land when it hit the shelves.

The place in history into which Barack Obama has comfortably nestled meant I had no doubts when passing the second copy to my Dad.

I don’t do politics on the blog, cyber social is choked with opinion as it is. Let’s just say that my father and I are not usually politically aligned. Yup, I think I’ll leave it there. I mean, in some parallel world, Dad might read this blog, as well as the 700+ pages he devoured of Barack Obama’s memoir.

Another favourite political opus I’ve previously lent to my Dad, was Citizen Clem, John Bew’s insightful and compelling biography of the former Prime Minister. I waxed lyrical about Bew’s book in this blog post.

This Promised Land is a historical document for sure, but it is also bang up to date. Obama has his sharp mind tuned in to current events and this comes through the prose as he recounts the build up to his election and first term in office. Even though Obama’s is a very recent history, it has many parallels with the Attlee story. Many will read A Promised Land and long for the days of leadership like this, based on compassion and a (maybe naïve) desire for a more bi-partisan politics. Although, with my Dad and I in agreement about so much in the book, maybe it’s not such a naïve dream!

But, is it any good?

Well. Yes. Yes it is. Obviously that would be down to the individual reader to decide for themselves. But anybody that remotely shares my interest and outlook will definitely enjoy A Promised Land. You will need to have at least a passing interest in recent American and political history of course. And there’s no let up in the detail. You’ll need to enjoy a bit of detail. Oh, and there are over 700 pages. If you get it in hard back, it is bloomin’ heavy too.

Aside from that, it is a cracking read. Obama’s Dreams Of My Father (1995, republished in 2004) confirmed to me that here was an excellent writer. He manages to liven up and put pace into subject areas which could potentially be dry and laborious. His choice of language, the colour he injects and the balance of confidence and humility in his writing draw you in. You want to read on, to find out how each episode during his first term in office worked out.

Financial crisis, wars, terrorism, ecological disasters, devastating weather occurrences arrive in a barrage. Not forgetting of course the never ending saga that is the Middle East. Each is described calmly, yet with enough jeopardy to keep you scanning the words. Obama surrounded himself with the right people for every occasion. His descriptions of the team he put together are so observational, you really feel like you are in the room when the crucial decisions are being thrashed out.

This first volume – yes there will be at least another 700 pages at some future point – ends with the mission to remove Osama Bin Laden and the incredible tensions and risks that surrounded the planning and executing of such a dangerous, high profile mission. That this mission was successful was in some way reward, in my opinion, for the no-stones-unturned, no-expert-ignored approach to Obama’s presidency.

My biggest takeaway from this absorbing read is humility. When decisions lead to events not going as well as hoped, Barack Obama is straight out and holding his hands up. If promises he made can’t be kept, he takes ownership, offers suitable apologies and starts to build trust again. If, in the heat of the moment or via some trick ‘gotcha’ questions from a suspicious press, he offers up a quote which he later regrets, he takes to the stand or the airwaves and addresses the error.

He manages to describe the vile hatred, the abuse, the thinly veiled racism and even the threats to him and his family with an admirable grace and also with an attempt to understand the motivations of others.

I’m sure, on both sides of the Atlantic, there are more than a few who would like a return to the leadership styles of Barack Obama, or indeed Clement Attlee.

in my humble opinion, this book is a triumph.

In Praise Of 2020 #4 My Favourite Reads Of The Year

The more I read, the more I enjoy reading

My clumsy attempt to explain how I feel about books.

With my beautiful lady wife Nicky being such a book fanatic (and her having rejuvenated my own love of both reading and writing) it is hardly surprising that the conversation regularly turns to books.

I’m currently deep into the 750 ish pages of Barak Obama’s A Promised Land. This is my 41st book of the year and I’m quite proud of the diverse range of titles I’ve challenged myself to tackle. Nicky has gone further and currently has the ‘do not disturb’ sign up as she laps up Emma Donoghue’s The Pull Of The Stars, her 52nd book of 2020.

See here for a list of the 40 I’ve read.

BEST FICTION BOOKS I’VE READ THIS YEAR

When it comes to fiction, I’m struggling to look beyond Douglas Stuart’s Booker Prize winning Shuggie Bain when choosing my favourite read of the year. Nicky read it earlier in the year and was periodically overwhelmed the power, the lyricism and brutal truth of Shuggie’s upbringing at the hand’s of his damaged mother in an alcohol soaked 80’s Glasgow. I also found myself having to lower the book and take a breather from the emotions the book recalls. Loved it.

There’s some hot competition here, of the fiction I’ve read, there’s probably only one which makes me ‘meh’ as I scan the whole list.

But, I can’t get past how much I enjoyed and was moved by Benjamin Myers’ The Gallows Pole (which I reviewed here). And this would narrowly beat the most beautiful dementia novel I’ve had the heart-breaking pleasure to read, We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas.

BEST NON FICTION BOOKS I’VE READ THIS YEAR

Lemn Sissay’s My Name Is Why is a book that will probably never leave me. A memoir of his growing up in an ever more brutal and cruel care system. Having been born in Wigan to an Ethiopian mother, Sissay went into foster care. The slow deterioration of his placement there, and the subsequent placements, make reading almost unbearably painful at times. Shocking, honest and a labour of love for Sissay – it took him 34 years to get the records of his care from the authorities. What he discovered hidden in these documents was as damaging (and damning) as any of his memories which were already haunting him. Stunning .

I’ve delved more into creative non fiction and memoir this year. Choosing just two more as runners up is tough. The great combination of being characters whose work entertains me, who I greatly admire and who then turn out to be great writers too has led me to Coal Black Mornings by Brett Anderson (reviewed here) and 26.2 Miles To Happiness by Paul Tonkinson.

It is none of my business where you buy your books from but consider using HIVE which runs a scheme to support a local independent book shop (you get to choose who you support with your purchase). Lots of book shops are doing mail order or click and collect schemes. I used one to get a surprise book package to Nicky during the first lockdown.

Foyles and Waterstones are much more highly regarded in the world of writers and readers than Amazon and so maybe consider them and only use Amazon if you really can’t find the books you want elsewhere. Similarly, the supermarkets are naughtily undercutting the more traditional book retailers by displaying popular titles at a massive discount. Again, none of my business and we’re all in need of a bargain, but this punishes the publisher and the author who are on a small enough percentage of royalties at full price. A bit like with music streaming, any sale is better than no sale I guess. The independent sector is in a fragile state, despite an increase in popularity of reading, small shops and independent publishers are clinging on at the moment.

Anyway, here’s to a 2021 full of good news and great reads.

To Obama: With Love, Joy, Hate and Despair

book review

to obama: with love, joy, hate and despair

by Jeanne Marie Laskas

Remember when politics was motivated by hope and empathy? I challenge anyone, even the most hardened Republicans, to not feel a pang of loss when reading this fabulous book.

Obama received 10,000 letters a day. Having earned the reputation for corresponding personally wherever possible whilst on the campaign trail, Americans wanted to write to Barack Obama. They wanted him to know their story. They felt he would want to know. They were right.

Obama assembled a dedicated and committed team to sift this volume down to the 10 he would take home to read every single day. This team of staff and interns would settle on the 10 as the letters were categorised and sampled through the hierarchy of the mail office.

Laskas’ book contains many, many of these letters, reproduced in the form in which they arrived, and also the replies they received from Obama himself. My tired eyes took a while on some of the smaller print but it is well worth the effort.

The 10lads (letters of the day), as they became known were intended to give a flavour, a refelection of the mood of America. Ranging from simple thank you notes to heart rending pleas from desperate veterans, victims of the economic crisis that marked the early Obama years, migrants and so minorities.

I finished this book as the current incumbent is shouting at anyone daring to question his increasingly worrying moves to bypass democracy. On folding the beautiful, simple, hardback cover closed, I was too emotional to speak. The passage describing the mood in the mail room team (“team little people” as they referred to themselves) after election night 2016 is numbing and humbling.

To Obama isn’t just about the letters though. There are chapters devoted to a selection of those who received replies. A window into America through the eyes and words of the people that live there.

And then there’s the staff, the interns, people that grew up with the Obama years. The tales of having to walk away from letters, letters pinned to walls (including the President’s), letters being walked around and around the building.

An operation which deals with pushing 4 million pieces of correspondence a year is delicately crafted into a tale of people through the guile and sensitivity of Laskas.

Wonderful

As Barack Obama put it himself:

“It was a way for me to, every day, remember that what I was doing was not about me, it wasn’t about the Washington calculus … It was about the people who were out there living their lives, who were either looking for some help or angry about how I was screwing something up.”

I received this book as a gift from my wonderful wife – go and buy it for someone you love too x

The Salt Path by Raynor Winn

dsc_06474258139930410043374.jpgThis incredible book has been devoured. You know a book has you when you are drying yourself after a shower one handed in order to grab a quick page. At emotionally vulnerable times it could easily have felt corny to seize on a book with a torrid, heart breaking tale, put your favourite sad songs on repeat simply weep.

This book, though, about a journey on our very own South West Coast Path, told by Raynor Winn, but also about the incredible journey of a time in life with her beloved husband Moth, hits that sweet spot emotionally. Stomach twistingly heart breaking, yet so beautiful it paints rainbows across your tears. Winn crafts this deeply personal, brutally honest wander through the roughest tracks of life with such poise, it seems outrageous to think she hasn’t been previously published.

Thrown into the void of life after being evicted from their home, their life’s work gone, the follow up punch comes instantly when Moth is given a terminal diagnosis. What to do? They head for Minehead.

And from there, learning the errors of their preparation, or lack of it, as they go, they set off for Lands End (and beyond?) on foot. Camping wild and surviving on £40 a week, their wits, their humour and the spark they’ve carried together through their entire adult lives, they battle on.

Progress can be slow, painful or simply non-existent and Winn describes, sometimes agonisingly, often hilariously, the people they meet, the towns and villages they pass through, or linger in, and their encounters with the elements.

So life size is the narration, I found myself smelling their clothes, feeling the drying of their skin, hearing the sounds of the Atlantic, the call of the sea birds and shifting uncomfortably with the book as she describes some of the ground they slept on.

I can’t pretend that the books proximity to home (both in geography, emotion and ambition) doesn’t add an extra personality to its appeal to me personally, but please, please believe me, it is a wonderful thing.

Winn echos the message so delicately reinforced by my very own wondrous adventurer, soul mate and partner for life in reassuring me that hope is actually a GOOD thing. Why not hope, dream, dare or just ****ing DO IT!

If you want your spirits lifted, your emotions exposed, your adventurous bones ignited then this is surely the book for you. It has already become one of our most treasured possessions.

Check out what else I’ve read so far this year HERE.

 

 

 

Independence Day

INDEPENDENCE DAY

A Brexit Essay by Kevin Bonfield

“Independence day! It’s fucking independence day!” I’m sure he actually did a little jump of joy as he repeated himself, adding “We get our fucking country back.”

There’s a burning inside my head. It’s not tears, they’ve been and gone. I can feel the heat in my face, there’s something thundering around my body, my heart won’t settle, somehow frozen, yet burning, burning. I think it’s rage. Rage. I’ll call it rage, I’ve never had such a barrage of heat and shuddering fury. And it’s pure instinct, I have no control over this.

I finally find my voice, “Did you vote?”
“Never do mate, they’re all fucking corrupt.” My workmate is so animated.
“But, you’re passionately celebrating the result?”
“Fucking am, why aren’t you fucking happy? No more immigrants clogging up our fucking NHS and stuff.”
“I’m not sure that’s what the referendum was about but……”

A month earlier, I’m in a chip shop. With my father. We’ve ordered four pieces of cod, two large chips, mushy peas and curry sauce. “So, will you be voting to leave?” He surprises me with the question. Whilst I’m pretty sure he’s goading me, I offer a mumbled, non-committal reply.
“That Boris Johnson is such a man of the people” he says, “I can’t see them losing.”
I just wanted to cry.

I still do.